End the Arguing

~ self-study video course with PDF workbook ~

​

A nine-lesson self-study course designed to help you identify and fix the problem in your relationship.

​

End the Arguing is an 87-page downloadable pdf document that is designed as a workbook, leading you through all of the stages of The Cycle of Pain.  There are video introductions to each lesson where I highlight the goal of each lesson so you're sure to stay on track with your overall goals of understanding why you and your spouse are not able to communicate effectively and address the issue so your Hot Topics can be resolved. 

​

When our marriage is in trouble, it's like the foundation of our life is shaky and insecure – we feel stressed, worried and it’s often difficult to find joy in the life we’ve worked so hard to create for ourselves.  If you're looking at a course like this, chances are things have gotten pretty stressful and you're uncertain about what to do next.  Maybe you're considering separation or divorce or maybe you're ready to get some outside help to better understand the problems and the solutions available to you.  Either way, this is a tough time.

Many couples who struggle in their relationship describe having one or two “hot topics” that they repeatedly argue about and can never seem to resolve despite their best efforts.  

Does it feel like no matter how hard you try to communicate your thoughts and feelings your spouse still doesn’t understand you?  Regardless of how careful you are to express exactly what you’re thinking, you still can’t seem to relay your message?  Or, no matter how determined you’ve been to figure out what’s really going on, you still aren’t able to get to the bottom of things?  Some people say it feels like they’re living in the twilight zone – they feel disoriented, confused and completely powerless to make headway.   You may have even read all of the “right” books and done all sorts of “self-help work” – meditation, psychotherapy, life coaching, maybe even medication too…but here you are, again, stuck in the same spot.  

You may be relieved to learn that typically there is a very specific reason that those hot topics can never be resolved and that the solution is easier than you might think. Most couples are very surprised to learn that personal characteristics developed from unresolved emotional pain from the past are the culprits that are wreaking havoc on their relationship and is responsible for eroding their emotional and intimate connection and their ability to communicate effectively.    

What you will learn...

This course was developed to help struggling couples finally understand the core issue that lies beneath the challenges in their relationship and provides them with practical and practice-able tools and strategies to help them overcome those challenges. Using focused and targeted exercises you’ll not only uncover the root issue that is causing the problem, but you’ll also actually begin to address that root issue so it stops wreaking havoc in your relationship.

Typically, traditional forms of therapy address surface issues like helping couples learn to communicate more effectively and there's nothing wrong with that -  it never hurts to brush up on communication skills, right? However, all of the communication techniques in the world will be useless unless you deal with the emotional root issue that is making communication difficult in the first place.

Focusing on communication skills without dealing with the root issue is like putting new tires on a car that needs a wheel alignment - your efforts won't fix the problem.

My approach does what other forms of therapy seem unable to do - it really was designed to identify and address the hidden emotional pain that's been responsible for causing those hot topics and preventing you from solving the problems. 

This course will help you:

• identify and heal the emotional pain that is responsible for causing the problems in your relationship,

• learn how to effectively communicate with your partner, even when your emotional pain has been triggered,

• learn effective tools to help you manage your triggers so you can reset mentally and emotionally and regain emotional balance,

• identify things that your spouse does that triggers your emotional pain,

• identify the trauma that created your emotional pain, and

• understand The Cycle of Emotional Pain and how emotional pain from the past has been impacting your life and your relationship

This Course Might be for you if you ...

• have problems you haven’t been able to resolve or understand fully, despite all best efforts,

• are open to examining old wounds but not eternally living in them,

• aren’t into blame and finger-pointing, and

• would consider yourself open to learning more about your emotions and how they may be impacting your life.

"I really am loving this course. I really love your examples, they help me tons. I'm learning so much and I'm so excited about where this is going to take us in our relationship.” AH

Lesson Structure

This course consists of 9 lessons and each lesson starts with:

1. The presentation of the concept(s) in the lesson (this is the theory part) and includes clear examples to help you understand the concepts.

2. Next, you are given focused and targeted exercises intended to evoke the insight and emotion necessary to help you understand the concept in each lesson and how it impacts you and your relationship.

3. Lastly, you will be given simple homework assignments in the form of tools and strategies you can practice in your daily life so the lesson content becomes integrated, making lasting change possible.

 Lesson Content

In this course, you will learn about the Cycle of Emotional Pain, how it impacts you and your relationship and you will be given strategies that will help you break the Cycle and restore emotional balance and peace within you and your relationship.  The 9 lessons are described below: 

The Cycle of Emotional Pain