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Know Yourself and Break Your Pattern 

An eight-lesson self-study course that helps you become more powerful than your pattern.


At what point in your day, week, month or year are you reminded that you have not been able to break your pattern and accomplish that one thing that matters to you most?  Is it in the morning when you're still in bed and your eyes first open? Is it when you look in the mirror, try on clothes, spend time with your 'successful' friends, maybe at the end of the month when the bills are due, when you can't resist that drink, the drug, the food, the video game, or is it at the end of the year when it's time to make your New Year's resolution - yet again.  


For those of us who are stuck in our pattern and can't accomplish our goals or manifest our deepest desire, the pain, frustration, feeling of failure and sense of powerlessness can feel very overwhelming.  


Does it feel like no matter how hard you try to accomplish your goals, nothing seems to work?  Regardless of all the techniques, strategies, tips and tricks you've implemented, you still can’t seem to make it happen?  And, no matter how determined you’ve been to figure out what’s really going on - and let's face it, your determination would rival an Everest mountain climber -  you still aren’t able to get to the bottom of things?  Does it feel like you're living in the twilight zone -  people around you can seem to make things happen but you feel stuck, confused and completely powerless to make headway?   


You may be relieved to learn that typically there is a very specific reason that you're stuck in your pattern of 'failure' and haven't been able to accomplish your goals and that the solution is easier than you might think.


Most people are very surprised to learn that unresolved emotional pain from the past is the culprit that is sabotaging our best efforts.       



What you will learn...


The material in this course is the result of two decades of research and was developed to first help me overcome my pattern of failed relationships (I published this material first in my course called End the Arguing).  And, over time, I began to see that the same root issue that was responsible for creating negative relationship patterns is the same root issue causing other negative patterns like ongoing financial struggles, bodyweight challenges, substance abuse issues, and pretty much any other negative pattern that feels impossible break and overcome.


This course will help you not only understand the core issue that's preventing you from achieving your goals, but it also provides you with practical and practice-able tools and strategies to help you address the root issue, once and for all. 


Typically, we've been taught all kinds of tips and strategies to help us break our pattern of failure and achieve our goals but all of the tips and tricks in the world are useless if we're not addressing the emotional root issue that is sabotaging our efforts. 


Focusing on goal setting strategies without dealing with the root issue is like putting new tires on a car that needs a wheel alignment - your best efforts simply won't create the results you want.  


My approach does what other strategies seem unable to do - it really was designed to identify and address the hidden emotional pain that is responsible for staying stuck in the negative pattern of failure. 


This course will help you:


  • identify the root cause of your emotional pain,

  • understand how unresolved emotional pain is sabotaging your success,

  • provide solid, strategies to help you heal the emotional pain that is responsible for sabotaging your success,

  • learn effective tools to help you manage your triggers so you can reset mentally and emotionally and regain emotional balance (which puts you in a better position to take action), and

  • understand The Cycle of Emotional Pain - how it applies to you specifically and how it has been preventing you from accomplishing your goals. 



This Course Might be for you if you ...


  • have problems you haven’t been able to resolve or understand fully, despite all best efforts,

  • are open to examining old wounds but not eternally living in them,

  • aren’t into blame and finger-pointing, and

  • would consider yourself open to learning more about your emotions and how they may be impacting your life.



Lesson Structure


This course consists of 8 lessons and each lesson starts with:


  1. The presentation of the concept(s) in the lesson (this is the theory part) and includes clear examples to help you understand the concepts.

  2. Next, you are given focused and targeted exercises intended to evoke the insight and emotion necessary to help you understand the concept in each lesson and how it impacts you and your ability to break your pattern. 

  3. Lastly, you will be given simple homework assignments in the form of tools and strategies you can practice in your daily life so the lesson content becomes integrated, making lasting change possible.

 Lesson Content

In this course, you will learn about the Cycle of Emotional Pain, how it impacts you and your ability to heal your emotional pain and break your pattern of failure. The 8 lessons are described below: 

The Cycle of Emotional Pain

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Lesson 1: conditioning



In this lesson, we explore how our early conditioning can potentially cause us to have an unhealthy and erroneous relationship with our emotions, setting us on a path of powerlessness.  



Lesson 2(a): trauma



In this lesson, we explore events in our past that may have caused emotional pain and suffering. This is where we identify our Unmet Emotional Need which is at the root of our negative patterns.



Lesson 2(b): the impact of trauma



In this lesson, we explore how the difficult events in our past impacted us as children and how those events may still be impacting us today, as adults.  We’ll also explore more effective ways to respond to challenges so we are in a better position to handle them.



Lesson 3: externalizing



In this lesson, we identify the ways you might be expecting external things, people, circumstances and situations to make you feel good (i.e. meet your Unmet Emotional Needs). This and the next stage, Attachment, are important points to explore so we can better understand why we are stuck in our negative pattern of failure.




Lesson 4: attachment



In this lesson, we explore how much we need those external things to so we can feel good. Building on the previous lesson - Externalizing - this lesson will help us better understand our negative pattern of failure.




Lesson 5(a): breaking the cycle by identifying triggers




In this lesson, we identify all the ways our emotional pain from the past is triggered in our lives. This is the first step in Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Pain so that our negative pattern can be broken.




Lesson 5(b): breaking the cycle by managing triggers



In this lesson, we learn how to Managing our Triggers, which is one of two strategies I use to Break the Cycle of Emotional Pain.  It is a reactionary strategy that is used when our emotional pain is triggered and we need to reset emotionally, which is a key component in setting us up to successfully break our negative pattern of failure.




Lesson 5(c): breaking the cycle by filling your emotional cup



In this lesson, we learn about the second strategy I use to Break the Cycle of Emotional pain. It is called Filling Your Emotional Cup and it is a proactive way to meet our emotional needs, heal our pain from the past, and promote emotional balance so we are finally in a position to break our pattern of failure and achieve our goals.



Frequently Asked Questions


How many lessons are there? 


There are eight lessons in this course and they include theory and exercises that are all specifically designed to help you expose the emotional root challenge that is creating your pattern of failure and teaches you how to address the issue. 


How will I get access to the lessons?


Once you purchase the course, you will get instant access to the digital pdf document and you can download it immediately.


How long will each lesson take me to complete?


The lessons are designed to be completed in around 30 minutes but some will take less time to complete and others may take just a bit longer.  I suggest making sure your scheduling enough time so you can complete the lesson at a pace that is not rushed.


How much time should I leave between lessons?


I suggest leaving about a week between each lesson.  The goal, with each lesson, is to read the theory, do the exercises and then observe how that particular lesson's content might be applicable to you specifically.  I find that the more we can wrap our brain around the concepts and let them sink in, the easier it is to see how it applies to our own specific situation.  That's why I suggest allowing up to a week between lessons.  But just trust yourself...go at a pace that feels right for you.


How much does the course cost? 


This course is $50.  But please do not share the course with others. If you find the course helpful, sharing your praise and encouraging others to purchase it would be greatly appreciated! 


What if I need extra support?



Extra Support




Sometimes people like the type of support that comes from human connection.  If you would like extra support while working on this course, we can arrange in-person or telephone/video call support at 20% off my regular rate which works out to be $40 per half hour, per person. 




Are you ready for things to get better?


If you are ready to dig into the course, head over to the Store page where you can access and download the course right away.  Click here to get started.


If you want to learn more, please contact me.  I'd love to arrange a phone conversation to make sure this course is the best option for you.  The call is free and there's absolutely no risk, pressure or obligation to buy the course if you feel like it's not for you.   


To schedule a time to chat, the best way to reach me is via email.  My email address is



Additional Resources


Be sure to check out my Radio Interviews if you'd like to hear discussions about my coaching philosophy or take my Relationship Health Quiz to identify any areas of your relationship that might need help. 

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